


Love in the Time of Singing

by piggy09



Category: Glee
Genre: I don't even watch Glee, I refuse to apologize, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-27
Updated: 2013-09-27
Packaged: 2017-12-27 18:04:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 739
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/981972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/piggy09/pseuds/piggy09
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Man," said a background character as she completed a spectacular cartwheel, "I'm <em>never </em>going to make it to Bio at this rate."</p><p>"Tell me about it," said another nameless background character. "This is why everybody hates the Glee club. Keep your musical numbers for afterschool, please!"</p><p>"Oh," said a third background character, this one a nameless cheerleader who would be devoured by the eldritch beast lurking under the school before the next episode. "Is <em>that </em>why we hate the Glee club? I thought it was just a mindless plot device so that they could have an antagonist during the time between shows. Even though <em>during</em> shows, we all give a standing ovation. You mean to tell me we actually have reasons?"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love in the Time of Singing

Blaine Anderson's heart was aching. He wandered the schools alone and unseeing, bumping into every single student and trash can in the hallway. It was some sort of miracle. As he walked, he sighed moodily. Here was the problem: Blaine missed Kurt. Kurt, his beautiful boyfriend who had moved to New York after graduation. Blaine had been told that these sort of May-December relationships never work out, but he hadn't listened. And look where it had gotten him! Heartbreak City, population one. "I have so many _feelings_ ," Blaine groaned between gritted teeth. "The only thing to do is..." The hallway quieted. It was so quiet, you could hear a safety pin drop from a background character's backpack. Blaine stood tall and proud.

"... _sing about them_."

The band, who had been waiting offcamera, struck up a lively beat as Blaine launched into a heartfelt rendition of Macklemore's "Thrift Shop." He bounced down the hallways, completing some cool slides and halfhearted bounces off of the wall as he moved directly towards the auditorium. He was a man on a mission, and that mission was to get onstage for the dramatic camera circle moment. The band ran behind him, huffing and puffing.

"Man," said a background character as she completed a spectacular cartwheel, "I'm _never_ going to make it to Bio at this rate."

"Tell me about it," said another nameless background character. "This is why everybody hates the Glee club. Keep your musical numbers for afterschool, please!"

"Oh," said a third background character, this one a nameless cheerleader who would be devoured by the eldritch beast lurking under the school before the next episode. "Is _that_ why we hate the Glee club? I thought it was just a mindless plot device so that they could have an antagonist during the time between shows. Even though _during_ shows, we all give a standing ovation. You mean to tell me we actually have reasons?"

This lively debate continued until Blaine reached the stage. "Is that...your grand...ma's...COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAT?" he belted in a way that made Macklemore cry a single tear somewhere and a thousand preteen girls spend the last of their iTunes giftcards. Blaine collapsed to the ground dramatically. He had done it. Like that stupid bird that won't shut up at 6am, he had sent out the message of love to his potential mate. All that was left was --

"Oh. My. Gaga." came a whispered and 100% sincere voice from offstage. It was Kurt! He had been lured to Blaine's voice.

Blaine tossed his head dramatically as he looked towards the source of the (extremely marketable) catchphrase. His eyes achieved sizes previously thought unattainable to anyone besides puppy dogs and bad artists on DeviantArt. "Kurt..." he whispered.

"Blaine..." cooed Kurt in return. He stepped into the light of the stage, which glittered dramatically off of his pale skin.

(Somewhere, in the cupboard characters were stuffed in when they were not being used, Sue Sylvester hissed, "Porcelain...")

"Blaine," said Kurt again, to cover up for the narrator's jump. "I came back to McKinley through a logic gap because I love you."

"I love you too, Kurt," gasped Blaine. "I love you more than anything, including hair gel and suspenders."

"I've decided..." Kurt said in a really kawaii and bashful way. "That...we should get married." A blush rose on his skin like the blood of shippers splattering upon the ground. "Even though we learned last season that teen marriage was a horrible idea, I think it would be the best choice for us."

By now you could start to see stars in Blaine's eyes, and the cameramen were growing concerned as to his well-being. "I agree!" he cried. "This would be the best way to show America that Glee is supportive of gay marriage. Let's go right now."

And Blaine swept Kurt into his arms because Kurt was as delicate and fragile as a tiny baby deer, and they pranced offstage into the sunset.

NEXT TIME, ON GL--

"Wait a minute," said Kurt. "That's it? We aren't even going to kiss or anything?"

We had to keep this one PG. For the kids.

"What kids?" asked Blaine inquisitively.

NEXT TIME, ON GLEE:

  * Relationship drama!
  * More characters get introduced! Do they matter? No!
  * We try really hard to convince you that Marley is the main character!
  * And, of course, more tortured renditions of the songs you loved two weeks ago!
  * Don’t miss it! 



**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this as a Christmas present for a friend who watches Glee. I do not watch Glee. I hope that this made you laugh and that you aren't TOO mad. ;)


End file.
